I’ve never previously found starting a conversation difficult; whether in my Saturday job serving customers fruit and veg at Blackburn’s 3-day market during my teens, shaving pre-operative patients “nipple-to-knee” as a hospital orderly in university summer holidays, or now in my career treating patients or teaching juniors as a doctor at Queen’s Medical Centre, Nottingham.
I always enjoy the opportunity to find out more about the people I meet, try to put them at ease and enjoy gaining an insight into their lives even when they are at their most vulnerable or at times of fear or uncertainty, which we all experience at times. It also allows me to reflect how I might feel myself in a similar situation.
For me, starting conversations about mental ill health has somehow been much more challenging. Why should I feel or act differently with my friends or family compared to when they may suffer other significant “physical” illnesses such as diabetes, heart failure or fractured bones? When I was asked to take part in the “Peaky Minders”, I was immediately drawn to the physical and mental challenge of scaling the four highest peaks and the thrill of cycling in all 4 countries, but have realised even more during the challenge how important it has been to support each other emotionally, making those feel welcome as they join the challenge for a climb or a cycling section, working together to keep inclusivity the key element of this journey, raising money for two such important causes.
We wouldn’t ignore a tyre puncture, achilles tendon injury (or even a wasp sting), so why would we not consider each other’s emotional and mental well-being on the Peaky Minders trip, as well as life’s (even) longer journey together?
Like so many of us on or supporting this challenge, aspects of mental ill health has touched my life over many years. When I was a teenager my Uncle Bill took his own life following the devastation of losing his wife, my dad’s twin sister, in her 40s. I remember struggling to understand how he could have reached such a dark and lonely place, struggling to access help and support to find a way through. There have been other similar tragic losses amongst close friends and colleagues, and perhaps while we may each be comfortable starting easy or superficial conversations, we need to be more available for each other recognising when emotional support or even professional treatment may be required.
However, the range and scope of mental ill health is much broader than suicide alone. Witnessing close family affected with anxiety or depression, often having a constant feeling of a deep unsettling anxiety without any obvious trigger can be so hard to understand. The effect of this can be expressed in many ways to regain control in their lives. It’s striking that despite living in the longest period of peacetime in Europe, illnesses relating to anxiety are increasing, reinforcing the urgent need to recognise and support the people we love who may be affected.
I’ve come to realise that we all eventually become a scarily familiar composite of our parents. My dad often used to tell me “shy boys get nothing!” The time I’ve spent with all the fabulous “Peaky Minders” has helped me not to be shy and start some conversations about mental health.
"I hope by sharing some of my own story, I can encourage you to do the same?"
Thank you to Martin for sharing his story
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If you are struggling and need help with your mental health,
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