Janine is a 37 year old mum to Eloise 10 and Lilly 7. She's been with her longterm partner Ross for 19 years. She grew up in East Leake with her parents Pete and June. Her older siblings Janette, Steven and Peter had all left home when Janine was born but as the baby of the family she has a close relationship with them all.
She grew up with her nephews, Anthony, Steven, Daniel, Adam and Niece Lizzie.
Janine and Lizzie being outnumbered by the boys had a close relationship growing up spending their summers together but as the whole gang have aged Janine has been a close confidant to all. She's the fun Auntie close in age that you can talk openly to and go out socialising with.
1st November 2008 Janine and Ross happily found out they were expecting their first baby.
5th December 2008 Janine's Dad heartbreakingly broke the news that his cancer diagnosis was terminal with only weeks to live.
22nd January 2009 is where Janine's journey began after the death of her Dad.
"My Dad sadly died after his short battle with cancer. That was it my emotions shut down. I couldn't begin to deal with being pregnant and losing my Dad so i chose to bottle everything up.
I didn't allow myself to grieve properly for my Dad, which I still deal with to this day"
Telling the family that they were expecting their first baby was bittersweet at such a sad time.
18 months later Janine and Ross were expecting their second baby, this time without the connected sadness and long labour. Lilly was born electively on the 26th October.
At just 4 weeks old Lilly was rushed to hospital with suspected meningitis, This was later confirmed as Ecoli Meningitis. Lots of failed long lines meant Lilly had to have a central line placed in theatre for a 21 day course of antibiotics. At such a precious age this was hard to deal with, Janine and Ross had only just started to get into a family life of 4.
"Once again I shut down. i couldn't deal with what was happening so i just blocked it all out. My baby girl was so poorly, it wasn't fair.
Both circumstances different but in neither pregnancy did I get to enjoy the experience of being pregnant and having a new baby at home"
Lilly thankfully got better and in the January had the central line removed and got back to family life at home.
In the february Janine was at baby weigh clinic where Lilly rolled over for the first time. All the years of closed off emotions came out, she couldn't cope anymore and broke down.
She was diagnosed with Post Natal Depression.
"I admitted to the Dr that I had thought about harming myself, and planned how to do it.
Saying this out loud was a huge step for me.
I needed help and I reached out for it"
The decision was made to medicate Janine's depression, she had weekly Dr's trips and received Talking Therapy and bereavement sessions.
The last 7 years have again come with its ups and downs, as life does. Janine has had further counselling sessions and is still is on medication but has learnt to accept that its ok to not be ok. She's now a full time Mum to her growing girls and carer to her mum.
"It's a battle that I once struggled with and kept hidden for a long time. I have come to terms with the fact that it's ok to not be ok, and with the amazing support of my family and friends I can manage it a lot better"
Janine, Ross, Eloise and Lilly are fully supportive of the Peaky Minders hopefully joining them at Snowdon. Lilly recently wore her Peaky Minders T-Shirt to a non uniform day and proudly told everyone she supports the Peaky Minders.
As a family they want to share the message of reaching out for help in times of need and not to suffer alone. Problems shared lifts that huge weight off your shoulders. Theres so many avenues to seek help through, don't let yourself get to that breaking stage.
Thank you to Janine for sharing her story
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